Parenting with Presence by Susan Stiffelman Mft

Author:Susan Stiffelman, Mft [Susan Stiffelman, MFT]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: New World Library
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Should introverted children be made to chitchat?

QUESTION: You talk about encouraging children to strike up conversations with others, but my daughter is extremely shy. She can hardly look people in the eye when they come to our house, although once she gets to know them she is terrific. Shouldn’t we let introverted kids be who they are rather than forcing them to chat with people when it pains them so?

SUGGESTION: Yes, we should let introverted kids be who they are; we should let all kids be who they are. But no child wants to be crippled with anxiety when faced with interacting with others.

This question is difficult to answer because some kids need a gentle nudge, while others genuinely cannot and should not be drawn out. Far be it from me to suggest that a child significantly on the autism spectrum, for instance, should be scolded for not chatting with the cashier at the market.

Trust yourself. If your child is incapable of engaging in social intercourse, then by all means, let her be. But if she is simply inexperienced in opening up a conversation or establishing rapport, perhaps you will consider helping her become more comfortable in this area.

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